I.2.20 (Bar/Brothel of Innulus and Papilio); 3932: Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!
VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1816: Epaphra, you are bald!
I.10.2-3 (Bar of Prima); 8258, 8259: The story of Successus, Severus and Iris is played out on the walls of a bar: [Severus]: “Successus, a weaver, loves the innkeeper’s slave girl named Iris. She, however, does not love him. Still, he begs her to have pity on him. His rival wrote this. Goodbye.”. [Answer by Successus]: “Envious one, why do you get in the way. Submit to a handsomer man and one who is being treated very wrongly and good looking.” [Answer by Severus]: “I have spoken. I have written all there is to say. You love Iris, but she does not love you.”
II.7 (gladiator barracks); 8792b: Antiochus hung out here with his girlfriend Cithera.
V.1.26 (peristyle of the House of Caecilius Iucundus); 4087: Staphylus was here with Quieta.
VIII.7.6 (Inn of the Muledrivers; left of the door); 4957: We have wet the bed, host. I confess we have done wrong. If you want to know why, there was no chamber pot
Nuceria Necropolis (on a tomb); 10231: Serena hates Isidorus
It’s funny how the translations make the graffiti sound all learned and classy, when probably it was like: “Dude, you’re jealous, butt out. Give up - I’m better looking and I’m being treated like shit even though I’m hot.” (Or whatever - I haven’t looked at the actual things.)